Sunday, May 18, 2014 

The Duckster came for breakfast. We sat out on the back porch and ate and chatted up a storm. Donald is into everything and adored by all the women in his church. He does this, that, and the other thing related to amputees, being one himself. Good man. Went from dissolute to absolutely wonderful. But we joke that God had to take his legs to do it! After breakfast, he started his drive back to South Carolina with a bag of Nuts.com organic trail mix (hard to part with these treats) and some water. 

Rob and I then made our way to the farm. The boxes for the luminaries were still in my car. So we made our way down the lane to pick them up and load the boxes into the barn. We also wound up helping to put tables away and undo some of the lovely decorations. I sure hope someone sends me photos. The bride and groom were there, too. They will be off to Hawaii tomorrow. A most memorable wedding and a most beautiful couple. 

We spent about 2.5 hours at the farm, and left mom at the kitchen counter, where she was doing her word search puzzles. But they seem to be getting more difficult for her. Either that or she is getting bored with them or maybe just having a tough day. At night, she asked if she could sleep with me again. I was firm and said no. Then she asked if there were anybody who would sleep with her. We went through a list of neighbors, all of whom were married and lived at home with their spouses. My brother suggested we get her a stuffed animal. My friend Nancy suggested a baby doll for her to take care of. Actually breaks my heart to see mom go down this road. My mother is really gone in a very large sense. Oh sure, there are aspects of her here and there, but she has lost her independence and her strength—among other things. As I have loads of stuffed animals in the basement, I will bring up a suitable candidate for her. Perhaps it will help. “Big” Aunt Marge had a baby doll to care for at the end. I found that bizarre, but we are now in the same position: mother, a little girl and descending.

 

 

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Tough start to the morning. Mom was uncomfortable, but eventually worked things out after three trips to the bathroom. I showered her after the last trip. Today is wedding day for Brian and Liz. I am to pick up the mylar balloons to mark the entrance to the farm and start getting things set up down there. The bulk of the work is done. Still, I have a 2-page, single-spaced list to follow. But at least mom is OK now. Difficult morning, but the worst is over.

Rained heartily yesterday, but today is gorgeous—clear, sunny, breezy, and cool. Will be colder down at the farm. Tough trying to figure out what to wear as “wedding coordinator” for a farm reception. Black jeans, black shirt, Hotter waterproof shoes, a black and white jacket, and minimal jewelry. After all, I am a worker bee, not a wedding guest. But I think the outfit is fine for the occasion. My work might entail going into the cow barn or the house cold cellar to check on the electricity. So I must be prepared for every eventuality.

Mom is feeling better now and back to her old self.

I wonder if that cat up there is cold.
I wouldn’t worry about it, mom. You’re the only one who even knows he’s up there.
Where’s Rob?
He just went upstairs.
I haven’t seen him all day.
He was just in the kitchen and gave you cereal 

Rob is back in the kitchen giving mom a piece of Betty’s applesauce cake.

Who made that Rob?
Betty did.
Did she? 

This is mom’s third piece of cake and at least as many times as she asked Who made that? Her other favorite question is Where did you get that? She often asks this when you are wearing something she admires. (I like that. Where did you get it?)

Betty is off to the casino with Chas. So Rob and mom will be left to deal with the day alone. I will be at the farm until late tonight. A very long day ahead of me! Will report later.

Later—

What a day! Rob and I went to Party City to pick up the balloons. I chose mint green, white, and silver mylar varieties (hearts, circles, and stars). Twelve in all. At the farm, I had a little challenge with the wind, but I prayed for help, and lo, the wind stopped. It was that sudden!

Nate appeared just as I was tying down the balloons. I asked him to make sure they were secure, and we both figured they were. The rest of the morning was spent in putting out tables for hors d’oeuvres, wine and beer, and caterers; setting out the platform wagon for the musicians near the utility barn; setting up chairs for guests to watch the bride and groom dance their first dance; plugging in electric and turning on the magical lights in the barn. Later, opening the white tent; putting out the ice; checking to be sure the tables in the white tent were OK; cutting wild flowers for the head tables; putting out the cookies and the wines and the lemonade and iced tea; greeting Keith Breitzenhoff (the square dance caller) and showing him where to go; setting out the ice cream and toppings for the dessert section of the barn; and setting up the luminaries down the 1/4 mile drive! (We did the latter twice, as we forgot the cars would be going out through the field. And oh it was magical!)

The bride and groom and company arrived on a wagon being driven by their uncle Eric. The bridesmaids were gorgeous in mint and wearing cowboy boots for the evening’s festivities. The groomsmen had changed their white shirts for ice-cream colored plaid shirts. Such fun! And the festivities began.

Of course, Rob has been alone with mom all day. Apparently, she had him call “her son” three times, but they called the house phone and not his cell. So they never connected. This made mom quite nervous. Things were not as happy here as they were at the farm!