Saturday, June 7, 2014 

Quite a day! Took a day off from editing and helped out at market for a few hours. Left early to get back in time for the wedding shower on my back porch. I had been working for weeks to clean the porch, polish furniture, get rid of spider webs, wash the tile floor, weed the garden, plant annuals among the perennials, and mulch. Rob spent the week trimming and mowing. Everything was wonderful. I tied pink and burgundy mylar balloons to the Weber grill I was giving the bride (in addition to a Kitchen Aid toaster).

Ruth came at noon to see to mom. Lovely woman. Mom had no idea who she was and claimed she had never seen her before, but this is Ruth’s third visit with mom. While mom and Ruth sat in the living room chatting, I noticed a wet spot on the antique Oriental. Lucy didn’t make it out on time. So I dragged the carpet to the yard and hosed it down. Fortunately, the sun was strong and bright. But this was a mere shadow of things to come.

Mother and bride came to my back gate on the pretext of dropping off a plant. When the bride saw the guests (around 20 of them), she refused to go onto the porch. Instead, she staged (and I don’t use that lightly) a meltdown on my front lawn, unable to breathe. Her hands became numb and a neighbor came in for some ice. A serious anxiety attack. Quite a show for mom and Ruth. (Ruth is a lovely woman at 82.) All the guests were nonplussed. No one knew what to say or do. So I suggested they start eating the food. Some went home, gifts unopened. Eventually, the bride came in, sat facing the garden, head lowered and sobbing. We all wonder how she will react to marching down the aisle while 200 people watch. We all wonder how she will react to the rehearsal dinner or to the reception after the wedding. We all wonder if she is really ready to be married.

As an aside, I suggested she take the mylar balloons home, but the bride refused: her fiancé is “terrified of balloons.” Either they will make quite a couple and see each other through these unusual fears or they will wind up in a very miserable marriage. The maid of honor was quite upset as were other members of the bridal party. They had never seen this side of the bride. Eventually, she opened her gifts, keeping her head down and her voice low.

I tell you all this because I checked in on mom and Ruth several times. Both were horrified at the actions of this young woman. The drama took quite a while to unfold. All the while, I could only think how happy I was that my mother at 97 is easier to handle than this young woman at 25. Am I becoming more patient? Not really. Just more accepting and realizing that I wasn’t dealt a bad hand in my mother. She’s a sweet woman who would not have put up with the bizarre behavior we saw today. What a world we live in. I am almost glad that mom doesn’t really know what’s going on. I think she would be seriously disheartened.