Friday, Happy Fourth of July, 2014

I even get the chills writing those words. Am listening, as I do every year at this time, to my Sousa marches. Even hummed them as we walked the pups this morning. It’s a great day. The sun is edging its way out of the clouds and the flag is flying. I waited until the rain stopped out of respect for the colors!

Rob just said it must have been wonderful having lived 100 years ago. What a country it must have been! I remember bands in the park even when I was a child. They were dying out then, but we had and still have the most beautiful gazebos—sadly now empty. It was thrilling to hear the bands play. Children would run around and play. People strolled lazily, greeting each other, often stopping to chat. Rob remembers strolling in the park with his grandfather, who was well known and highly respected. Many people stopped to talk. My own father was also very well known in his town. It seemed everyone knew him. When we went to renew insurance toward the end of my father’s life and the man behind the desk did not know my father, I had a sinking feeling. How could this be? This was no longer my father’s town. I knew then he would not live much longer, and he didn’t.

Now I am left with my mother, who barely remembers this remarkable man who made a living despite having only finished school through fifth grade. He knew more than most high school teachers do, however, and was able to answer many of my geography questions. He was business savvy and owned a furniture store, both retail and upholstery. When he retired from the furniture business, he opened restaurants. Cooking was his avocation, his other love. But mom remembers none of this.

What did my husband do?
He owned furniture stores and later opened several restaurants.
Really?

Her interest is always quickly lost and she will not remember this brief exchange.

Mom is wearing her summer pajamas. And I am wearing red, white, and blue to celebrate the occasion. A French acquaintance once remarked how stupid it was that American’s wear their flag colors so readily. Strange coming from a French woman whose flag bears the same colors. (Of course, not strange that she would denigrate us.) Nothing nicer than red, white, and blue in the form of the stars and stripes.

I marched to Sousa into mom’s room, where she is watching TV. But she cannot hear the music, and if she could, she would ask if I had any Italian songs. She only asked where I had been.
Out on the porch?
Oh really? By yourself?
Yes.
Don’t sit out there by yourself. Sit in here with me and watch TV.
No thanks, mom. (I can only abide so much TV and I need fresh air.)
Where’s Rob?
In the kitchen.
Oh really?
Yes, he is. Did you see him this morning? (Why do I challenge her? I know she sat with him and that he made her toast and coffee.)
No, I don’t think so.
It’s hard for mom to keep her days and hours straight. She doesn’t know when or even if she has seen someone.

Today, I cooked yet another batch of soup. Zucchini soup. Yesterday, I boiled beets and turnips and made Swiss chard soup and collard greens. I subscribe to the Rodale food cooperative, where we get fresh organic vegetables weekly. The only way to make sure I am not throwing my money or my food away is to check out recipes make the food quickly. Thus far, soup is the order of the day, and mom is one of the happy recipients. She is not particularly aware of the smells coming from the kitchen and often asks where I got the food.

Did you make this? Where did you get this?
I made it.
Oh you’re a good cook.

And so it goes. Happy Fourth of July! God bless America!

Beautiful day. The heat and humidity finally stopped. We have a gorgeous breeze. My plan was to sit on the back porch and watch a DVD. Only You! set in Italy, where my brother and his daughters are right now. Betty and I had walked the kids a second time. Lucy seemed to be on the mend. Val seemed fine. I had my lunch and some tea. I enjoyed my homemade macaroons—and so did the kids. Midway through the video, I was asleep. That is, until mom called.

A bit of a disaster awaited me. Mom had soiled her “panties,” as she calls them. This necessitated washing everything in sight, because she went to look for me and I knew her hands would not be clean. I showered her (second shower for the day, to her dismay), put her clothing in the wash, and washed down walls, bathroom, and floors. This was the end of a restful day. Might as well vacuum and be done with it.

Mom is watching TV again, having had her nutritious lunch, which apparently went through her a bit too quickly. And I will return to my video in a bit. It has a very happy ending!

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

An inauspicious start of the day. I was awakened by Lucy’s bark. She was at the foot of the stairs and needed help getting back upstairs. Rob joined me and explained that he had been up with Lucy through the night. It was a tough ending to her special birthday. She had had the runs and needed to be let out very 2 hours. It was only 4:30 AM. It was then that I discovered where she had last relieved herself: on the bathroom mat over the tile floor. No better place at all. I took up the mat. Rob put it in the yard, and I wiped the floor with Lysol. This would have to do until morning.

I decided to stay downstairs with her, just in case she needed to go out again. My pallet was limited. As Lucy chose the Mutt Mat, I chose the dog bed. I listened throughout the night for her breathing and was satisfied that all was well. I only hoped Valentino was also sleeping soundly upstairs.

Mom called once at around 5:30 AM—her familiar cry: Sandy! I looked in, but she seemed to be sleeping. I let it go.

I didn’t sleep after Lucy’s crisis. I only listened and planned: Would I take her to the vet? Which vet: ours in Pottstown 45 minute away or the local vet? When Betty calls at 7:00 AM, would I tell her I would not take the kids for a walk but let them out in the yard? Or would we go for our customary walk? Did I have rice in the cupboard? Would I ask Betty to bring a cup of rice? Would I try to get some sleep later? Should I just get up and work—my latest assignment deadline having been moved up from July 6 to July 3? Did I just hear Valentino? Or was that mom? And so it went.

Betty and I did walk the pups. And I cooked the rice and hosed off the bath mat in the yard. I need time in the yard.

Even with little sleep, I must tend to mom.