Thursday, September 25, 2014
Still not recuperated. And I am here alone with mom. Rob is taking a course at a local college on Excel. I need one of those courses, too. I know precious little about creating Excel files, but oh well.
Made mom her breakfast and tried talking with her this morning, but it’s a bit frustrating. First, I turned her bench seat. It’s bentwood and Rob and I turn the seat so she won’t sit on the edge and break it. As usual, I turned the seat before she sat on it.
I don’t need that.
Why not? I don’t want you to sit on the curved edge.
I know how to sit down. Here, let me show you.
And of course, she attempted to sit on the bent edge.
Later, I made her breakfast.
Would you like coffee, mom?
Are you having any?
No, I don’t drink coffee. Do you want any?
OK.
Getting her to say she wants something is always a chore.
Then I tried to make conversation. Who’s crazy here?
Rob is taking a 2-day course at a local community college.
Oh.
Did you hear me?
Yes, I heard you.
Then where’s Rob.
He’s at the barber shop?
No. He’s taking a course.
I heard you!
No you didn’t. He’s taking a 2-day course at the community college. Did you hear me?
He’s at the barber shop?
No, he’s at the local college.
Oh.
Did you hear me?
Yes
What did I say?
What?
What did I say?
When?
What I said about Rob.
Oh, where is he?
At the local community college
The barber?
No!
AARRGH!!!!!!!!!
I have retreated to my office. Mom is sitting at the kitchen counter. There’s no point in trying to talk with her or be with her. She only repeats the same question until you can’t take it anymore or responds with an Oh to your comment. Hers must be a lonely world, but this has been going on for decades—long before dementia kicked in. I remember a woman in our hometown who asked me why my mother asks questions but doesn’t wait for the answers. It was mom’s way of being present. I do not say communicating, because she was not capable of doing so on any large scale or even one-on-one. Mom still asks the same series of questions and is still incapable of hearing the answers. One might ask why we don’t get her a hearing aid. Don’t even go there! That battle was lost a long time ago. Enough said.
thecaregiversdiary 
An adventure day to day, Bless you dear.
My mom is in Reading hospital since last Saturday. Went in with pneumonia, then told us her intestines shut down. She slept for 36 hours straight in the same position. Next morning she woke up, sat up and ordered something to eat!! Her bowels started moving… That day, Wednesday, she was awake talking. Thursday, Friday… feeding herself, remembered she was given last rights. Saturday, another turn, qualified for hospice, and my brother, Tom, sign the papers approving. I’m in Rehoboth with my friend, Denise. My brother insisted I continue with my plans. She is a tough one, as you know. No telling how much time she will have, days ? month’s? No way to know…
I’m pleased to say it has been over a year since I was able to forgive her for the past. It improved things so much! I am so glad that has been lifted from me.
Love you~
As I read this I see I didn’t mention,I was there with my brother at the hospital from last Saturday till Saturday the 27th… when I left for the beach. She was on the up swing when I left. It is just Beautiful here!
Love you~
I knew you would only leave her if she had improved. I am just so pleased that you and she were able to work things our better! Way to go, Becky! Enjoy your time away. You deserve a break!
Becky, I am so sorry to hear of your mother’s illness, but am delighted that you worked things out–as I knew you would. And I am glad you kept your plans to travel. Call me when you return home. We need to wind down together. Much love, S