Saturday, October 18, 2014 

Friday was tough. Second day at the Farmer’s Market wine shop and word of and editing job came in from a client via email. It won’t be in for another week, thank goodness. At the end of the day, I was mighty tired, but had to drive to Pottstown to see EW, my patient’s son, for dinner. We talked about organist Virgil Fox and his amazing virtuosity. We talked about the stock market, in which I am no longer a participant, having lost everything I ever invested. The market is neither for the faint of heart nor those without plenty to spare (and thus, plenty to lose). I was exhausted when I returned home and promptly went to bed.

Two-thirty in the morning: click (a light switch), bang (uh oh). I ran downstairs to see mom leaning against the wall in her bedroom.

She was in here.

Who was in here, mom?

She was here. And I asked her to get into the bed with me.

No one was in here, mom.

You don’t understand. I asked her… And she was in here.

No one was here.

My shoulder hurts.

Let me check your shoulder.

Leave me alone. You don’t understand. She was standing there and she was here.

You’ll be OK, mom. It was just a dream. 

Of course, one can never be sure. Dream, vision, visitation? Who’s to say? I know only one thing for sure: I didn’t fall back to sleep again. Mom did, almost immediately. She fell asleep on her right shoulder, the one she complained about. So I wasn’t too worried. Today, she had no pain and also no recollection of the morning. 

Back to the Farmer’s Market for the third day. Lots of new things to learn at the wine shop: the order of wines from dry to sweet, the 6 s’s (see, swirl, smell, sip, swallow, and savor—I would add swish in there after sip), the computer, filling the bins, serving samples, locating the wines, making recommendations… All this on a few hours of sleep. Deb and Sue made it all bearable, as did the many visits from friends and neighbors.

I missed Valentino and worried about him a little, but a call home to Rob and I was assured all was well. Mom was doing her word search puzzles. A call to Nancy after work brought more disturbing news. Eric is hanging on by a thread in a medical system unwilling to provide more care for him. The social workers want him out of the hospital, but seizures and strokes keep him there longer. I see little hope, but then… Who am I to say? We are both grateful we were never given a glimpse of the future. It would have been far too much to bear.

I am going to take advantage of the moment: Valentino is outside, and I need to finish vacuuming!