Wednesday, December 24, 2014 

Last night, I sent emails to my cousins, reminding them about mom’s birthday and urging them to give her a call. They did. All of them. It was a wonderful barrage of calls. Unfortunately, mom didn’t remember one of them. I could see by the caller ID who had called and I reminded mom. She looked perplexed—and I know it’s not good to challenge her—so I let it go. She was dressed and had insisted earlier to Rob that her son was coming to take her out. When I returned home from market, I reminded her that John had been here on Monday. I should have said that we had had lunch with John on Monday. Her response was to cry because she thought she had missed seeing him. Well, in a sense she did miss him. We had lunch together, but she has no memory of it. I called him and she told him how much she missed him.

This was an early day for all of us. I awoke at 3:33 and then at 5:30. Mom needed help and was rummaging through the bathroom looking for a change of “panties,” as she calls them. There we were again: Mom, me, Rob, and Valentino. I chastised Rob; told him to go back to bed. We don’t need two people to find a pair of Depends. Before I left for market, I gave mom a quick shower so that she would spend at least part of the day fresh.

This evening, I spoke with cousins Carol and Jeri, two of the birthday callers. Was nice to hear their voices and catch up a bit. Then off to church, where we had a lovely candlelight vigil, with the master of lights. Our pastor is our neighbor and his house is highly illuminated. Such fun! This year, I limited my decorating to the back porch, where the tree is. It’s easier to clear it all out then, too. Mom has not seen the tree yet and probably doesn’t even know it’s Christmas.

The other day, she received a lovely package from Seniors Helping Seniors. Some smart items. These people know what older folks like to munch on. Instead of being happy about the gift, mom fretted for hours.

We need to go to the bank. I have to buy them a gift.

No, mom. You don’t. This was just a nice Christmas basket. They don’t expect a gift in return.

Oh. Well, when can we go to the bank later?

We don’t need to go to the bank. I have loads of money right here.

But I need to buy them something. What should I buy them? Will you buy them something?

Yes, I will buy them something.

You need money. I’ll go to the bank and get you money.

OK, mom. You can go to the bank and get me money. Tomorrow 

Of course, moments later, she started anew. It just doesn’t end. I promised I would take her to the bank in the morning. And of course, in the morning, she forgot about it entirely. Her faulty memory is one thing you can bank on.

And today, she is 98 years old. But mom does not remember a thing.

Do you know how old you are, Mom?

92?

Nope. A little older.

You’re kidding me.

No, you’re 98 years old.

Oh my God.

And you’re still pretty.

70?

No, 98.

Oh my God.

There you have it. The answer to every woman’s vanity. Aging actually makes you think you’re younger!