Day: December 30, 2014

True Confessions

Tuesday, December 30, 2014 

I am not in a loving mood this morning. The night before last, I awoke at 3:15 am. This morning, I awoke at 2:00 am. I finally fell back to sleep at 6 am only to hear the voice of doom: SANDY! I went downstairs, loaded for bear.

What do you want?

I don’t feel well.

You’ll be fine. Go back to sleep.

 

She did. I didn’t. Of course I felt guilty. So I went back downstairs for the rest of the story.

What’s wrong, mom?

I don’t feel well.

What’s wrong?

My mouth is dry. And I have been using that stuff (Biotene).

You need water. Wait a minute.

I brought her the water, but mom has never been able to drink more than a sip.

Here, I don’t like it.

Well, then go back to sleep. You’ll be fine.

 

Later—

I have already walked Val and fed him. And mom is now up at a record 8:15 am. She brushed her teeth, and I made her sit on the toilet.

I already went.

No, you didn’t.

I went last night.

You need to go now.

I don’t have to go.

Yes you do!

 

She sat. She “went.”

You don’t like me, do you?

As a matter of fact, I don’t.

So there you have it, gang. Don’t trifle with me when I am exhausted. This is one of those days. I hope tomorrow is not. My father had a temper, but he was patient. I have his temper, but I am not patient, at least not with my mother and at least not today.

Time for a review of the Reiki rules:

  1. Just for today, I will not be angry.
  2. Just for today, I will not worry.
  3. Just for today, I will be grateful.
  4. Just for today, I will do my work honestly.
  5. Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing.

Frankly, I usually have few problems with Reiki rules 2 through 5 (with the exception of stinkbugs, which are prolific in this area, as we are one block from a soybean field. They tend to hang around for the harvest. If I am in a good mood, I carry them outside. If I am not, it’s down the toilet. Maybe they will reincarnate into something good and beautiful.)

It’s that first rule that trips me up, particularly when I am tired. I am tired of cleaning up poop from the shower wall. I am tired of cleaning the toilet handle and the toilet seat, the floor around the toilet, the faucets and the light switch plates, the doorknobs, the woodwork, mom’s chair. I especially don’t like cleaning up the ring of poop around the soap pump bottle on the bathroom sink. I am tired of the smell of feces. It sometimes stays in my nostrils all day. And don’t mention the smell of bleach or Lysol (for which I am eternally grateful).

Today, I will pay especial attention to Reiki rules #1 and #2. Thus far, however, shinsetsu ja nai, I have not been kind.

Oh My!

Sunday, December 28, 2014 

Oh my! Those were Rob’s words when I showed him the shower wall. Last night, I had quickly showered mom out of necessity. I usually shower her in the morning and then bleach the shower and hop in myself for my ablutions. Last night was the exception. I thought I could leave things till the morning. I was wrong.

The white wall of the shower—I discovered a few moments ago—was flecked with feces. My tactic: spray bleach, bleach, bleach everywhere and on everything, including the shampoo bottles in the corner niche. Before her next shower, I will empty the shower of everything to prevent contamination. My next serious step will be to replace the wooden cabinets with white cabinets. Fortunately, I can see stains on the white Corian sink countertop in there, but that’s not enough. We do not share towels (I keep ours hidden) or toilet paper (ditto), but she sometimes invades our stash, contaminating everything.

Mom’s demeanor is delightful. She smiles and is pleasant, if not excessively needy and often demanding. The one serious sore spot is hygiene. She is more difficult to tend to than Valentino (The Black Dog). I plug in her room ionizer daily now to rid her room of the smell of diapers. Works fine. At least the house doesn’t smell like a nursing home.