Wednesday, January 7, 2015 

Last night, she asked why Rose wouldn’t sleep with her. I assured her Rose had passed and was no longer available.

Well, who’s the other one?

What other one, mom? The only people who live here are you, me, Rob, and Valentino. Would you like Valentino to sleep with you?

No, who’s the other one? You know.

No, I don’t. And you’re going to sleep alone tonight. You’ll be fine.

Oh, OK. 

Mom has been sleeping fairly well, but she does sometimes sing at night. Sometimes she just hums. Other times she fakes her way through some Italian words. At least she is capable of entertaining herself. Thus far, she only gets up at night to use the bathroom. We keep a chain lock high on doors she should not attempt to open. Thus far, no problem with wandering.

I have taken to closing my bedroom door at night to soften the sound of her calling and waking me. Most of the time mom doesn’t recall why she called me or even that she called me. Her continued demands for tissues, inquiries about the man in the tree, and pleas to join her in bed or to tell now-deceased Rose to get in her bed have severely limited my sleep.

January 6, 2015 

Mom’s most uttered phrase is, I can’t believe it!

It’s snowing lightly today. Mom looks out the window, I can’t believe it!

It’s 7:00 am, I can’t believe it!

Rob is still sleeping, I can’t believe it!

There is nothing I can think of that will not elicit an I can’t believe it! from my mother. This is not anything new, of course. It’s been a lifelong habit. How in the middle of winter can a snowfall be so unusual as to be unbelievable? How can 7:00 am in the morning be such an unbelievable time? Why is it so unbelievable that Rob is sleep at 7:00 am, when he goes to bed late each night. Mom herself usually rallies around 10:00 am. But mom was up and ate her breakfast at an unusually early 7:45 am. She kept calling me and the only way to prevent her waking Rob was to get her up. Alas, she is back in bed. Believe me.

Later, mom was watching TV as the news about school closings scrolled across the bottom of the screen.

Sandy!

What mom?

Why are all the schools closing?

It’s snowing, mom.

I can’t believe it.

Well, it is snowing.

I know, but why are they closing the schools?

It’s too slippery for the school buses and the children.

Oh. I can’t believe it.

Sometimes neither can I.

January 1, 2015 

I was determined to finish reading a novel I had started, and I did. Before that, however, I walked Val in subfreezing weather. It was too cold for Betty and me to walk, but she called and recounted her visit with mom the day before. Mom told her that she loved company, but that she is “not wanted” here. When I asked mom about this today, she denied having said it, or at least couldn’t recall it. She did, however, ask again for her jewelry. So I gathered up what I could find and brought it to her. She has been wearing the watch I gave her. It was one she gave me years ago, and it never made it out of my jewelry box until mom asked for it. She didn’t seem particularly interested in any of the things I showed her. The earrings were too long or too fancy. But she is now wearing her mother’s gold chain and the medallion of the Virgin Mary. Mom gave this to me ages ago. I am happy that seeing it makes her happy. She tried to wear the cocktail ring that dad might have given her, but it’s a bit too large to wear for everyday. The ring sports a gold flower (which I don’t think is real gold). The stamens in the petals end in tiny diamond chips. It’s not likely that anyone will wear this creation any time soon. But it’s in mom’s possession once again. She is remembering things she lost or gave up. Marcy has her wedding ring already, and mom has been asking for it. I might ask Marcy to give it up for a while so that mom can wear it again. We’ll see if mom asks for it again.

Off to make my pork and sauerkraut, a Berks County tradition on New Year’s Day. I only got into it last year. Takes some getting used to. I still prefer ravioli!

Happy New Year to all!