Sunday, February 8, 2015
Today is Valentino’s birthday. We sang Happy Birthday so many times to him, he must be baffled. I also had to bring up Lucia’s harness. Val’s broke yesterday. Was lucky to have saved the other one in the basement. I had not intended another dog to wear it ever. But I had no choice. Val sniffed and sniffed away at it, moving me to tears. We both miss her terribly.
Tonight I cried some more. Saw a film called Iris about Dame Jean Iris Murdoch, celebrated English author and wife of scholar and professor John Bayley. Iris was robbed of mind, spirit, and life by Alzheimer’s disease. The story of her decline into Alzheimer’s was recounted for the screen by her devoted husband. Now, mom doesn’t have Alzheimer’s, but there were moments in the film where John lost it and couldn’t deal with the fading of his wife’s mind and the growing distance between them. I felt absolved in a way for the many times I yelled at mom or became terribly impatient with her. Alzheimer’s is the Great Robber. Dementia, on the other hand, is the Great Frustrator. Both are horrible demons. Both to be despised. But the people they inhabit must still be loved. And how difficult, how very difficult that can be.
thecaregiversdiary 
Belated birthday wishes to Valentino! Sounds like it was a day of celebration!
Both dementia and Alzheimer’s are robbers and frustrators not only to those taking the journey but their caregivers as well. Days become 36 hours to caregivers and a flash in time to those with these conditions. I find that it is the condition that is to be despised and not those that it inhabits. It’s all in how you look at it.
Thinking of you and empathizing totally!!
Blessings back to you, Martha! How true. Mom watches the clock like a hawk but hardly knows the time of day or how many minutes and hours have passed. We, on the other hand, are jealously aware of every precious minute. Perhaps it is better not to be able to look at it at all.