Tuesday, January 27, 2015

It took me a while, but I finally figured out (I hope, I think) how to stop mom from making the 5 to 6 marches to the toilet every evening. I march her myself in the morning before breakfast and make her sit until she does something productive. I march her midday before she goes to watch television. And when she does her first march to the toilet in the evening, I make her stay until she has finished her business. If it were not for Charlie and Betty and their continued supply of plastic bags, I don’t know what I would do. I would also like to acknowledge Costco and Sam’s Club for their boxes of surgical gloves, their huge supplies of paper towels, and their grand stores of baby wipes, without which I would not be announcing the projected success of my Sit, Stay! program, inspired by Valentino, who himself learned to sit and stay without half the kvetching my mother manages. Thank you Valentino! Thank you, all.