Thursday, August 21, 2014
Walked the pups, fed the pups, took care of mom’s three morning trips to the bathroom. Drove off to market, where I substituted for Martha from 8:00 am to 3:00 pm. Hard work. Rushed off to Rodale to pick up my organic food order for the week. Came home. Made zucchini and potato soup. Broiled salmon with mustard, lemon, and dill. Fed mom and the kids, and then headed off to Pottstown, where I met my client for dinner and brought him some of the salmon. Long day. I can hardly describe here how exhausted I was. Left mom to Rob’s care. Tomorrow will be just as exhausting.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Worked on manuscripts all morning. Then headed off to New Jersey to meet a client for dinner. Took mom along for the 3-hour drive. Couldn’t get a sitter. Betty will see to the pups.
Where do these people live?
In New Jersey.
Oh.
Who are they? Do you know them?
They are clients.
Oh.0
Moments Later—
Where do these people live?
In New Jersey.
Have you ever been there before?
No.
Oh.
Moments Later—
How far away is it?
A lot farther.
Oh. Have you ever been there before?
No.
Oh.
Moments Later—
My goodness. Look at all the cars.
That’s a parking lot, mom.
Oh yeah.
Don’t you remember parking your car in a parking lot?
Oh yeah.
Moments Later—
How far away is it?
A lot farther.
Oh. Have you ever been there before?
No.
Oh.
And so it went. I brought some organic veggies with me as a gift for the hostess. We had a wonderful meal and a fabulous time. It was like being with family—the part of the family you really love. Mom interrupted the conversation a few times to ask a question, always a nonsequitur. But it was her way of being a part of the evening. And no one minded. She didn’t complain about going home while we were there, because fortunately, she was unable to see that it was already dark outside. Mom always complains about going home when she is aware that it is no longer daylight. It’s getting late. We have to go!
Mom did not sleep during the 3-hour trip home, but she remained quiet. Fortunately, she was tired, but so was I. We arrived home at midnight with a huge amount of delicious leftovers. Betty had seen to the pups, but we walked them when we got home. Lucy, my 15-year-old, had pooped twice on the walk. I thought we were fine, but she managed a third poop in the house. Cleanup! Fortunately, I am now expert at this.
Am grateful for the leftovers! Will make tomorrow easier. I won’t be home to cook. And Rob will be on duty once again.
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Day of the third annual Historic Dreibelbis Farm Festival. I signed on about 24 vendors and had already met with the docents who will lead the tours through the house. Wonderful group of women!
Was looking forward to the day and seeing the alpacas. As my iPhone predicted (well, that was where I first saw the news), however, we had rain. All day long. Mud and rain. No alpacas. Kathy didn’t know we would provide a place for them in the barn. There were moments of relief from the rain. And I did get to see some of the vendors. Bought soap and lemon curd and more redware plates. Led tours through the house for all but 1.5 hours of the day from 10:00 am through 5:00 pm. A very long day and the end of an exhausting week. Mom had been once more left to Rob. Tomorrow, I will rest—apart from working on two manuscripts and caring for the pups and mom.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
I had a pleasant morning. Made a nice breakfast for mom and me before going to church. Church and home again. Then I tried to work. But today, mom made a record 10 trips (or more, I have lost count) to the bathroom. I have not even had time to feed her early supper. Pups are outside. Rob is mowing the lawn. Mom is watching television. My work awaits. One more interruption and I will erupt!
Finally made mom some supper. She wouldn’t eat the green beans.
They’re too thick.
But mom, they’re from the garden. Try them.
Oh yeah. They’re good.
Made myself some tea. Back to work on the manuscripts.
Thus endeth the day and a very challenging week!
thecaregiversdiary 
Sandy, I feel like you when you hear some one is doing well from this or that treatment… Instead of being happy for success, or good for the person that benefited… I feel awful that it wasn’t for Gary. They are too late for Gary!!! I don’t like the way it makes me feel…
Let me know when you are able to have lunch.
Love you~
I know how you feel, Becky. I remember watching the movie “Lorenzo’s Oil.” The father had come up with a solution for his son’s illness after much trial and error. And at one point he said that he felt as though he were doing this for other people’s sons and not his own. It’s a sentiment I often bear. And it’s something we don’t normally express, but know that you are not alone and that it does not make you a wicked person. You are blessed and were blessed to be with Gary and the friends and family you now have. And none of this lessens the horrible pain of being without him!