August 20, 2015
Today was as special as it was exhausting for mom and me. My two nieces descended with the whole lot: 6 great-grandchildren to entertain mom. Five boys (including a set of triplets) and one lovely young lady. I made chocolate French toast, cranberry pecan French toast, and grilled maple apple sausage. I even had organic chocolate milk on hand and, of course, a bowl of freshly cut fruit. We cut mint from the garden and made mint tea. And the boys buried medals in the yard and gave me the chance to minister to a consequent mosquito bite.
I had never thought of my place as kid-friendly, but indeed it was. The children joyously climbed the horse chestnut tree, much to my delight. I had sworn to remove that tree and replace it with a smaller flowering tree. This spring, the arborists objected and asked me to give it another year. I had trouble parting with it so soon anyhow. It is still lovely and has such beautiful red spiked flowers in the spring. I told my arborists that I could not be there when they cut it down, and fortunately I spared myself that horror. How it lifted my heart to see these beautiful children climbing my tree. Their dad was on hand to help them and then there later to help them bury the objects in the yard. What a delightful day!
The hordes ran through the house as though they had lived in it all their lives. They went upstairs, downstairs, all the rooms. Even asked about playing in the basement, but my basement isn’t designed for play. Everything down there is neatly stored, but it is for storage. I almost regretted not having another play place for the children. Almost. Storage is at a premium here.
They are gone now. Mom is asleep on the porch, where she has been all day and away from those dreadful TV game shows. I am looking forward to the next visit and am planning to take my nieces and their children to Koziar’s Christmas Village. What a lovely trip that will be. It will be cold for sure out there in the country, but we will all warm up with hot cocoa and merriment.
If I could change one thing, I would ask that my departed sister-in-law join us. But then, maybe she was here today and maybe she will be with us again at Christmastime. One can hope and one can pray that her spirit lingers to watch over her children and watch her grandchildren grow.
thecaregiversdiary 
Lovely pictures!!!
Thanks, Becky. Can’t wait to see your photos of Ireland!
Oh, my golly. Sounds like a wonderful time! There is nothing like having generations under one roof! I had a chestnut tree out side my house growing up in Jersey City. My mother always hated that tree but all the kids loved it. They are wonderful trees to climb with hefty branches. So glad you didn’t cut it down. It was the spirits saving it for the children to enjoy! Your meal sounds delicious! I am sure the gathering tired mom out but that is what children do. The joy that they brought to your home was well worth it! It is times like these that make us take a deep breath and say…Wow, there is joy to be had! So glad you got to taste the lighter side of life!
Wishing you a joyful autumn!
You are in my thoughts!
Martha
Thank you, Martha. I love the autumn. One of my favorite times of the year. Mom had no recollection of their visit after the children were gone, but she napped out on the porch glider for a long time. Took some convincing to get her back into the house.
All the best to you!
Sandy
She might not have had recollection but I am sure when she was with them she enjoyed herself. She is teaching us a very important lesson…it is only the “now” that really counts! That is why we call it “the present”.
I understand the importance of being in the moment, but mom did not engage with the children or her nieces at all. Not once. She did not talk to them or watch them play. She was totally unaware of the picture taking, the tree climbing, the meal. She ate on the glider, where she later slept. Right there in the midst of it all, she missed it all. As soon as they left, she asked whether her son was supposed to visit. And she did so continually. She was no more in the present than the lamp in my living room. Such is the burden of dementia. And maybe the message is for us to enjoy the present while we can.
Bear in mind that groups of people can be quite bewildering for the demented elderly. They must pretend they understand and that they know to whom they are talking. Apart from not understanding, mom no longer hears well. Having a roomful of children ensures she will not hear a thing directed at her. In fact, very little was directed to her. What with six children to deal with and so much wonderful activity, she could not keep track of any of it or make sense of any of it. Mom was more concerned with the fly on the porch than she was about any adorable child. I doubt that dementia permits being in the moment, but perhaps in “a” moment to which we are not privy.